C is for Courage

Recently I volunteered to substitute lead at a cancer support group.  By connecting with close family members, friends, and others spanning the globe, I have heard their stories.  Throughout my life, one message has always been clear to me: Never give up!  Following are some findings discovered during my session.

Success is measured differently by each individual.  However, attitude is everything!  The attitude to Want to beat the demon inside of us, to succeed in beating cancer. Granted, everyone has different experiences, side effects, and treatments.  One thing stands out in my mind…people’s attitude.  They want this thing inside of them to go away!  Some lie back and let nature take it’s course, while other’s take a stand with a different attitude.  They want to succeed in surviving and connect on deep levels with family, friends, and community at large.  Remaining healthy in mind, body, and spirit, they face cancer with courage. 

For patients, positive attitude was defined as optimism for the day and getting though everyday events of the journey by taking control rather than focusing on the future. Factors that affected patients' positive attitude were their relationships with their specialists, people around them being positive and supportive, and having a pleasant environment at home and at the treatment center. Patients found expectations of them to be positive as being detrimental.

People need to inspire and support patients' positivity while undergoing treatment for cancer. Do not force their own value system on them nor treat them differently if they do not conform to societal expectations to be positive and optimistic for the future.

For as long as I can remember when people used the phrase, the C word, they were referring to cancer. However, since kicking cancer's butt, the only thing the C word stands for in my eyes is COURAGE!

What is needle biopsy of lung (Chest) nodules?

During my once a decade physical, my family physician discovered a small shadow in my chest x-ray.  While he was comforting, further precautionary tests were scheduled.  CT scans were done, and to make a long story short, a biopsy was scheduled. 

A needle biopsy, also called an aspiration, involves removing some cells—either surgically or in a less invasive procedure involving a hollow needle (which I refused to look at) from a suspicious area and examining them under a microscope to determine a diagnosis.

I scheduled an appointment with a recommended radiologist and things were underway.  Did I mention I have a horrific fear of needles???  AHHHHHH!  A short time later, outpatient surgery was scheduled and I began to freak.  Just the thought of having cancer after both parent’s, sister, and discussion with a lady friend who may breast cancer was enough.  I kept telling myself….it’s just precautionary tests, we’ll get through it!! 

I checked in, signed papers and given instructions to read about the procedure.

A nurse handed me a relaxer and I was lead to a room to wait what seemed like forever.  The nurse came in with an IV which went into my hand (the worst) and I was led away and told to lie down face first on a freezing table.  It was then I asked NOT to see the tray of tools they were about to use and a local was injected in my back to numb the path of the biopsy needle.  While I didn’t see it, it had to be at least half a foot long!

I received a local to numb the skin, felt a pin prick from the needle, along with some pressure when the needle was inserted. The area became numb in what seemed a few seconds. I was asked to remain still and not to cough, to hold my breath several times during the procedure. I guess it’s important that you try to maintain the same breath-hold each time to insure proper needle placement! 

A limited CT scan was performed to confirm the location of the nodule and the safest approach. A nick was made in the skin at the site where the biopsy needle was to be inserted. Using imaging guidance, the needle was inserted through the skin to the site and samples of tissue removed. Did I mention they did this a couple times??  While I was given a sedative, I was awake during this! The procedure took what seemed to be an hour, although I honestly wasn’t keeping track.

You may want to have a relative or friend accompany you and drive you home afterward. This is necessary if you have been sedated.  Of course, my ride decided to throw an unexplained fit day’s prior, a day after my Uncle’s funeral (whom had some x-ray concern’s of his own\ STRESSOR)…so she was out!!!  THANKS! (STRESSOR) Therefore, I was stuck in a small recovery room for a few hours for observation.  Then drove myself home, thankful my autopilot worked because my vision was still a little blurry.  THANKS…

I was encouraged not to do any physical activity for at least 24 hours.  The second day, I was still sore, however managed to do some light chores, mostly vegged on the couch and made some phone calls. The area they inserted the needle remained sore for a couple day’s, by day three I was back up to par, but the spot remained sore to the touch for about a week. Dr.’s warned me I could cough up blood, which I did (isn’t that human?). That lasted a couple days (another stressor)!!

After a couple day’s, I was allowed to remove the bandage and take a much needed shower.  While soreness persisted, I hoped the worst was over.  After a couple weeks, my family doctor phoned to say results were benign.  RELIEF!! For now, no further tests required.  We continue x-ray’s every few months just to keep an eye on things.  

Next: mouth biopsy, not so lucky

5 Lessons I Learned from Cancer

You have cancer.

After receiving feedback and comments from friends, loved one's and undergoing tests  myself, life is traumatic. Because the cancer  spread so far throughout some of their bodies, one  had to take chemotherapy while she was pregnant. That was the beginning of a long journey of pain, faith, sadness, hope, brokenness, and healing from many of them.

I want to share 5 life lessons that I learned.

1. Life is fragile.
Right after I heard those three words, I knew within a second that which was most important to me in life; my family, my friends, and my faith. Everything else that I thought was so important was stripped away (one person decided not to be friends any longer) in my mind. My world had been rocked and my perspective had changed. I realized how fragile life was when immediate family members heard their diagnosis, and when a friend delivered her daughter after two months of chemotherapy.

2. We aren't meant to be islands.
I am really good at offering my help to people, but I was not good at asking for help. While some go through chemotherapy treatments, so weak they need help with every day living. It's a really humbling experience to accept help with childcare, housekeeping, and everyday errands. For the first time I began to understand what being in community was all about. Community is not just when you can give, but it's trusting people when you need to receive help. We aren't meant to be islands in this world. We need each other.

3. There are worse things than being bald.
I don't want to be melodramatic here, but many thought losing their hair was going to be the worst experience ever. I was wrong. I cut most my hair off to show support, however this was by choice. They did\ do not have that option. Watching it fall out slowly was the worst experience. After watching clumps of hair fall all over the place,  It was the most liberating experience of my life. Many people opt to wear wigs and wraps most of the time, but sometimes, I just let my shiny, bald head be bare and exposed. There was something beautiful about those vulnerable moments of showing my bald head.


4. You learn a lot about your faith when you are put through the fire.
My faith in God changed a lot during my sister's cancer. Not because I was so strong. It was just the opposite. I was so weak. For the first time in my life, I realized that I wasn't in control and I couldn't manipulate the future. I even tried to become the great deal maker with God.Finally I broke down and gave it all to God. For the first time in my life, my prayer life was real. I poured out every emotion in my body; anger, sadness, disappointment, and fear. Then I cried out for answers, peace, healing, hope. God answered in His own ways.I can't explain it, but my faith was strengthened in my brokenness.

5. The fight is still going on. We need to find a cure
I am very much aware that I and other's are here because  people continue to fight for a cure. While I await my tests and forthcoming results, we all know someone who has cancer. Right now I have two very dear friends who are fighting cancer and one former friend who was waiting for tests with no health insurance.

My friend Michelle is watching her son go through his second battle with a rare tissue cancer. Jack  is such a sweet little guy. He should be playing with his friends, not laying in a hospital bed fighting for his life. We need to find a cure for Jack.

My other friend Julie was just diagnosed with cancer last week. Julie is a fighter; a glass-half-full kind of girl. She also has the most amazing heart. Just two years ago, she did a Breast Cancer walk to raise funds for cancer research. Now she is experiencing all of this on a personal level. We need to find a cure for Julie.

There are so many others that need our help. Embrace life, friends new and old, repair differences with friends   and loved one's! Open your arms, support them, be thankful, ask to do everyday chores, give them a ride, share time....life is to short and nobody can have enough friends.

Check out organizations and see how you can get involved

Ever changing caregivers

As I was walking the dog yesterday, lost in thought, contemplating life's situations, I almost missed a glorious sight. In the Mid-West spring landscape, it was barely visible. I thought at first that I was mistaken. There, in all its splendor, was a Little Blue Heron, standing tall at the edge of the little pond. Don't herons migrate? Don't they try to escape the long, hard winters?

And that's when I realized my mistake. I assumed to know about the blue heron because I know about some other birds. I lumped the blue heron in with all birds and made presumptions about its migratory behavior based on what I thought made the most sense.

When you are a caregiver, it's easy to plow through situations with the idea that because you know this or that, you also know things with which you have no familiarity. It's easy to think it's okay to connect the dots because you have past experience.

The truth is that as a  caregiver, your role is ever-changing, because the needs of your loved one over time will change. Some people get healthy enough to resume their old lives. Some people manage their illnesses in ways that allow them to function fairly normally. Other people deteriorate over time.

If you are caring for someone who has a life-limiting illness, it's important to understand that as things progress, you must progress with them. You must understand the disease in its various stages in order to provide the best care for your loved one. The needs of a cancer patient at Stage 1 are vastly different than the needs of one at Stage 3 or 4. The early stages of Alzheimer's and other dementias present very different behaviors than later ones. Some people with ALS have quality of life for a long period, but can suddenly decline. If you don't expect the changes, they can have a profound effect on your ability to provide care to your loved one.

Life has a way of presenting us with surprises along the road. The more we pay attention to the subtle landscape, the more we discover. I might have missed that little blue heron the other day, but because I love to walk and because I force myself to see something new each time I set foot out the door, I was lucky enough to enjoy it. Putting your mind on automatic pilot and not leaving room to see the details of the care you provide means you are less likely to spot the tiny cracks in the dam before it breaks. Family caregivers who pay attention to their loved ones don't just find problems. They also find the connections that tie us together as families. Those ties that bind us together are also what give us strength and comfort when the going gets rough. They are the winds that fill our sails. If we know how to navigate the family ship properly, the journey is made better.

Symptoms of cancer

Many signs may not be distinctive to cancer but run through all other diseases.  Below are some general symptoms. 

One cancer sign is unexplained weight loss. Night sweats and fever often accompany the weight loss.  Again, it could be just because of normal causes however generally a sign.  Back pain, pelvic pain, bloating, or indigestion may be early symptoms with some forms such as bone or testicular cancer.  Usually, pain is a symptom of advanced disease.  Skin cancer may produce visible skin signs such as darkening hyper-pigmentation, yellowing, reddening, generally skin color changes.  Change in bladder function, constipation, diarrhea, frequent urination, small amounts of urine, and slow urine flow.  Pain with urination, blood in urine, and any changes could be signs.  However again, these are not conclusive unless tested and proved.

There are many signs and we cannot list them all here, we can however pray that God will intervene before any of the symptoms crystalize to become full blown cancer.